Today my experience in the rebreather world was a seriously mixed bag.
John and Cheryl getting the hang of the full gear
While I had no illusions that things would come naturally today, personally I felt I took a big step back. We introduced the “bailout bottle” – a 40 foot cubic tank which rebreather divers strap to them independent of the unit for absolute emergencies (Mike, our instructor and President of Silent Diving has been diving rebreathers for 17 years and never had to use one once). While I reduced some lead weight to compensate, this addition took me from an awkward newbie to in my mind a disaster. I felt as if I was seriously all over the place and my buoyancy was out of control much of the time. I must admit at one point I felt very stressed and had to fight the idea of throwing in the towel. However, part of what I love about diving is the fact that it is a mental “sport” and in many cases mind over matter. As an experienced diver and instructor, there have been times in the past I have had to personally “talk myself down” from a level of anxiety or have had to coach students through the same. Today that helped me immensely.
To be fair that this is my very first intro to the world of “technical diving”. I have never donned doubles and never dived a sidemount. I am also only five foot tall and not particularly strong. This entire experience is all completely new and is a physical and mental challenge in many ways. I embrace learning and the opportunity to take my diving to the next level but like any real challenge, at times it can be overwhelming. I am comforted by the fact that many years ago I had to fight for my open water certification. Today I can not only complete skills in my sleep that once kept me awake at night, but I now work with others through those same hurdles so that they may achieve their dream. If I have to, I am bound and determined to fight again.
Up close and personal with the marine life
While much of today my concentration was trying to establish my buoyancy, work through my mistakes and strive to feel once again comfortable underwater, I have to say it was the sea creatures that spurred me on the most. For anyone who has heard or read that being on a Closed Circuit Rebreather makes an incredible difference when it comes to marine life and questions just how much that is exaggerated – I can tell you now that it is the absolute truth. For all of the difficulties I felt I had today, in the midst of it all I still could not help but be distracted at times by the animals around me. Once again eels came out to play in front of my eyes and feather dusters stayed fully open until I was directly on top of them. Even a small Peacock Flounder held its ground until I finally moved on. The highlight of my day however (and despite all of my struggles and serious effort there was still room for special moments) was when three Caribbean Reef Squid (known as Cuttlefish by many) came to “hang out” with us. They were they so up close and personal in MY face that not only was I able to take time to inspect various patterns around their eyes and other places that I have never seen before but one hovered right in front of me and opened his beak long enough for me to see down inside in great detail. Wow!! One other memorable moment was my return visit to the yellow-headed Jaw Fish which we discovered yesterday. As you may or may not know, Jaw Fish are one of my top favorites and I cannot get enough of observing these little guys. It so happens that after completing our skills today, we look over and there they are, watching us with what I can only imagine was great amusement! After we completed our required exercises (most of which I feel clumsy but pass ok), we decided to enter a staring match which actually took several minutes. What is up with all of these stubborn critters? As we were now well into the second hour of our diving time for today, I had gained a little confidence and while not comfortable by any means, felt good enough to use this time for a benchmark test. John and I crept very slowly towards the Jaw Fish, while absorbing every tiny detail which I had never seen before despite how much I love them. I even got to watch one snap morsels out of the water around him twice. I measured that we were just 6-8 inches away from these beautiful little creatures before they retreated into their homes. Again – wow!
In the very best hands while I work this new world out
Today my confidence in myself was shaken a little. The “being new but 3 times as intense” that my friend warned me about was somewhat true yesterday but I think it really manifested itself today instead. I am drawing on strength of the history of my own personal efforts to become a diver way back when and every student of mine that I had to coach to do the same. So I am getting in the water again tomorrow, ready to take this on head first and at some point win the battle. But out of all of the reasons I can give you for why I want this now more than ever are for the little moments that I tasted today such as staring down the mouth of a squid who’d followed me, and being one slight movement away from planting a kiss on the head of my favorite fish.
At this point I don’t think I am ready to hang up my BC and regs for a big yellow box, but also I question tonight that if I go back to them if they will ever be quite the same.
Deep Blue Adventures 